Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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