He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
