Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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