I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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