She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
