Sponge bath it is.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
