Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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