Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
