so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
