So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
