im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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