billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize