Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize