He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
