dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im six kinds of drunk right now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
