it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
