I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
