We're facebook friends in real life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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