yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I won the penis lottery.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
