I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize