I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
