I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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