It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
