I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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