A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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