just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
