love makes seman taste better
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
