butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
operation harelip BJ is a go
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
