I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had to cum in my sink.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
