Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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