i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
