yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
sex in a hospital.. check
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
