dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The Olympian is in my bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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