my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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