called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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