i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's shark week go big or go home
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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