is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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