a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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