1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
