if only i could text you this smell
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
