I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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