how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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