I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
