Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize