I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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