Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
