I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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