Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
