I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
