just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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