This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
