It's like a parade of train wrecks.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
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Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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