No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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