I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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