Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sarcasm needs its own font
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
