DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
