you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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