Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
