Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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