I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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