Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
