Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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