Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize